Diary of A Conflicted MS Pilot
by sebastianomar0205
Summary: Matsuda Kaddan Areund: A teen who wants to escape war. Has to choose between running from it... Or to fight for who he cares of.


It is the year 0084 of the Universal Century.

My name is Matsuda Kaddan.

I am 18 years old and I live along my sister in Side 3.

Things are very calm here... Besides the "Good Guys" trying to do their best.

I have seen their tools...  
Those things they call "Mobile Suits".

I remember that the guys they chase also use Mobile Suits.

I believe they were called the "Principle of Zeon" or something like that...  
Now they're just a joke.

Our family was from Zeon.

My brother was gone MIA and my parents... We don't want to remember that time.

I try my best to keep us safe...

Luckily... My friend helps us in that.

She was chosen at "That time" to be a pilot.  
She's very good at it.

I am bored of this place.

I want to experience space.  
I want to get out of this place and explore it.  
But I can't leave my sister.

She may look normal on the outside... but I know that the "Good Guys" will instantly put their fingers on her.

I know that if I try to enlist in their work I could get in a serious problem... And that's why I haven't... Besides hating the fact of joining the Federation after all that has happened.

That should wrap everything.

Today I laugh last.

I can't believe that there's one of these hidden in a storage nearby.

There are quite the parts... but only one has most of the cockpit unscathed.

I can't express how grateful I am thanks to this.

Now I j...

Damnit.

I did not think of that.

I have to repair this whole piece of junk to even try.

and they could notice my moves.

I have to think a way to bring this to my house and then repair it with my sister's help.

She may be 8 years old but has a lot of untapped potential.  
I have to be a lucky guy to have such a cool little sister.

By the time... I will check what's broken and what's not.

I have done the list.

I have to somehow fix the sensor and the limbs of this thing.

This will take a while.

Kanna (my sister) is going to help me with this.  
I know that Hilde (my friend) won't be happy with the idea... but this place is not for me.

I have the luck on my side.

I can do this.

I just need the time to work.

"Ok... This should all be set."  
"Kanna... Everything's on... Your turn."  
"...Starting up the OS."

"System is online."

"Ok... so this bad boy should be ready to go."  
"Let's go for a Test Walk... Kanna."

"...Kanna?"  
"Are you sure that we are doing the right thing...?"  
"Kanna... I..."  
"I want to help you... but I am worried that something will happen to us..."  
"Kanna... Nothing will happen to us."  
"Trust me... I will not allow bad things to happen."

"...Ok..."

She did believe me when I said that.  
I wouldn't let myself to see her in danger.

If anything... I will get myself get endangered for her...  
I am not the best at this thing of "being a Guardian"... but that won't stop me.

We had to customize the cockpit in order for us to work... I even had to make separate controls for the upper body of this MS since we aren't pilots.

"Big Bro..."  
"What is it Kanna?"  
"Something's behind us..."  
"How did you.."  
"UNKNOWN MOBILE SUIT PILOT!"  
"What the f.."

There was a weird Mobile Suit behind the Zaku... It awfully looked like a rabbit with one strange looking stabilizer on the crotch...

"LEAVE THE COLONY OR I WILL HAVE TO USE DRASTIC MEASURES!"  
"Big Bro..."

I was sure that the person talking to me via the Com was familiar... but I wasn't sure.

"WILL YOU NOT COOPERATE?!"

After hearing it once again... I was sure.

"...Hilde?"  
"What the.. MATSUDA!?"

Hilde Lachus... My friend.

"Yeah."  
"WHY ARE YOU PILOTING A ZAKU YOU MANIAC!?"  
"It's... complicated."  
"Hello miss Lachus."  
"IS THAT YOUR SISTER?"  
"Yes."  
"... Can you guys get off that thing... We have to talk about this in detail."

As she said... we got out of the Composite Zaku that Kanna and I have built to explain her the reason of why I am doing this.

"Ok. Explain."  
"Y... You see... I thought that Zeon had very cool Mobi..."  
"Be straightforward."  
"...Should we tell her?"  
"(She will tell them... Don't do it...)"

I had to question my choices... I knew that she was friend of mine... But her being part of the Feddies was making me worried of telling her about my desire to explore...

If I didn't... They would start asking questions to us regarding what faction we support... and that could bring even more problems...

I had to... or else we would be in more trouble.

"...I want to leave."  
"This place is not for me Hilde... I hate living in this Federation hell... My sister and I are in enemy area... They can easily target us as double agents from what's left from Zeon and capture us like criminals."  
"Aren't you overreacting?"  
"I kinda am... But I stand in my words... I want to leave this place for our safety."  
"Hmmm."  
"Miss... Don't tell them."  
"I... How did you..."  
"How did she what."  
"... I won't tell them... I know you guys passed through a lot... That would be painful... Even for me."  
"...Ok..."  
"Wow... Then what do we do?"  
"I... I don't know... But what you were doing is not right."  
"They will see that thing."  
"And if they do... No questions will be made."  
"I cannot use this Zaku then?"  
"If you don't want your head blown off by a GM then no."  
"Hmm..."

We were out of ideas.

That Mobile Suit was our chance to leave.

But as she stated... They wouldn't doubt about shooting us.

Whether the pilot has a family or not... If it's Zeon... They have to shoot it.

But suddenly...

"Miss... You have one idea... don't you."  
"I...I do..."  
"Don't tell me..."  
"There are some vacants on our team... They wouldn't question if you manage to use the Mobile Suit properly."

Joining the "Titans" team of the Federation... The ones I have dreaded since the start of the war.

"YOU CRAZY?!"  
"No no!... I know that they will allow someone like you!"  
"I don't mean that!"  
"Dude I know that you tend to be afraid of the Federation... but you gotta believe me that If you cooperate with them... You will find your way out of this place."  
"Maxie..."  
"...Are you really sure?"  
"Cut that angsty crap Matsuda... I know what can the possibilities be."  
"Maxie... Are you ok with this?"

To be frank about it... I always had the choice to join... Those guys would hire everyone who could stain their hands for the "Greater Good"...  
But I knew that both sides were doing what they did most to help their respective sides.  
I don't care about fighting... But I care about my sister.  
If I get the chance to make our life quality... I cannot let it go to waste.

"Alright Hilde..."  
"That was oddly fast... I remember the times you were just not going to listen to my words just to keep your case..."  
"Big Bro is joining the bad guys?"  
"I have no other choice..."  
"Matsuda..."

There are no bad guys or good guys in war... Just people doing what they can to help their people.

If that's the case... Then I guess I have no other choice besides playing along their rules.

This is Matsuda Kaddan Areund... And this is a story that could always pass as fake or fantasy... Where war is always the host... And the humanity is the guest of a hotel they will never leave.


End file.
